The Death of Our Fairies
Her fairy died a brutal, fiery death. She loved that fairy, but it was gone and there was nothing she could do about it. For her it was sad. For me? I laugh every time I think about it. (watch it here.)
Life as we know it is the aftermath of loss. Things were good. Perfect even, but I guess that was not enough for the “garden people.” We wanted more power, more control. We wanted God equality. 1 What we got were jobs and pain. Paradise lost.
That house you want, the new car, job, shirt, better organization to sooth your OCD – none of that will work. There is nothing wrong with wanting “new.” Getting a better job or a car that does not break down every week is great. Heck, go to the mall and have fun. That is not a problem. Have some healthy ambition for goodness’ sake. But, you need to know this: That ache will not go away.
Make peace with it. You cannot relieve it, but you should not try to kill it either. Trying to relieve it will leave you exhausted and in debt. Trying to kill it will leave you disgruntled or even worse, numb. The deepest of souls learn contentedness through understanding the ache and providing space for it.
The ache is the longing for life as it was meant to be. And you cannot fully return to that existence no matter how much money or power you have. Not here. Not now. That ‘fairy’ is not coming back.
But, all is not lost. The ache continues to resonate so deeply because there are times in which our souls encounter the beauty in which they were meant to live. There are moments with nature – sunsets, animals, trees – and moments with each other – our children, spouses, friends – that are “garden moments.” Moments that resuscitate a flat-lined soul.
What we see in Jesus is so often a return to the original intentions of God. He showed us the way back. As a human, He was not interested in having equality with God. 2 Wielding the power to be in control and to do it “my way” is what got the human race where it is now. We are like the kid who could not wait to grow up only to become an adult wishing he was a kid again. Jesus did not take another bite of that fruit.
So, we must follow Him back to the land of the original intentions of God. But, you cannot hike the trail back to the garden alone. It has to be done in a group. The problem with group hiking is then you have that guy over there with an ego problem and that lady with her own agenda. Sometimes it seems better to just hike alone.
But, imagine hiking the trail back to the garden with a group of people who were truly grateful to be able to return. They had made peace with God and that dictated how they treated you. They were there to hike. They were there to finish and they were committed to finishing with you. That was it. That was their agenda.3 I would hike with people like that.
Let your fairies, whatever they are, fly into the fire. They are just extra weight. Slide “the ache” into a good fitting backpack because you are going to be carrying it until you see “the garden.”
“In this world you will have trouble. But I give you my peace. That where I am there you may also be.” 4
1 Genesis 3:5
2 Philippians 2:6
3 Philippians 2:1-4
4 “Where I am, There You May Also Be.” Lyrics by Rich Mullins